(NB I appreciate this is a day late, but Fathers Day is not a good day for me, and inspite of the hate I have for it, It actually makes me feel
I hate Fathers day. Even if my dad was alive I think I’d hate Fathers day.Let me explain I don’t hate the meaning behind the day; showing the world how much your dad means to you is great. Doing so while boosting the profits of Clintons Cards is what pisses me off.
The last time I spent a Fathers day with my dad I was 11. Since then I spend ever day wondering what he thinks of me and my actions. It pretty much is what drives my day to day life. And what sucks about it is I will never know. Shit, I’d rather know i’ve disappointed him than this constant not knowing. I’m lucky though that I have a wonderful girlfriend and a great family who give me the support and comfort I need.
What I really miss are the little things. I will never get to experience my old man watching me play rugby. I’ll never get to go for a pint with him. I’ll never get to ask him advice etc. I miss the things that most people get to take for granted. And most of all I hate the fact that while he was alive I took my dad for granted, I assumed that I’d have all the time in the world to spend with him.
The biggest regret of all comes from the last time I saw my dad. When he came into my bedroom after work to say good night he told me he loved me, I never said it back. I was a 11 year old boy that wasn’t the done thing to do. If only i’d said it. The next day my dad was dead, and I can say it with ease now, but i don’t know if he hears it or not…
Now I’m not saying all of this because I want sympathy, not a jot. I’ve had all the sympathy I need. I say this because I’m one of the lucky ones. What I want are for people to realise don’t wait for Fathers day, or mothers day, if you love your parents or think they are the best in the world, show them every chance you can get, cause you might not get another one.
If you’ve promised to go for a beer with him and not done it, go do it. Go to that match you’ve been meaning to take him to, or pop in for that cuppa. You never know how many chances you get.
And if you can support Winstons Wish its thanks to them that I came to terms with my grief and there are sadly many more out there who need all the support they can get.