“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” – Mary Englebrit
No i’ve no idea who she is either. However it seems apt, for my post.
So let me tell you about my last few days(please stay with me, there is method in my madness.)
So the other day I got rejected for a job. Now there is no shame in that, It happens to the best (well worst I guess) of us. A few days later I hit a pheasant (it survived) and wiped out my wing mirror.Today I came home to a flood in the bathroom and then had to shoot off to a meeting about the future of my rugby club, which I wasn’t looking forward to. And I haven’t even mentioned the Gloucester rugby result….
In short, I was in a bad mood and my tolerance and understanding was being stretched to breaking point.
Then I looked at the BBC news website and these are the headlines:
- 58 Dead in Vegas Shooting
- 1900 lose jobs as company go into Administration
- 2 dead in stabbing in France
My natural response is “What kind of world do we live in” and “someone has to do something.”
And you know what someone should; me.
Now I’m just some wurzel from Gloucester, i’m never going to stop a terrorist, or lead in Government. However, I can reject the trope that the world is an inherently horrible place. I can stare back at the cynical eyes that stare back at me in the mirror that lets a day like today get to me and spiral down and be all “sorry chap not today.” I can smile like an idiot. I can say hello to people, hold the door, let cars out and not get grumpy if they they don’t thank me. I can hold my hand up and volunteer to do stuff, i can keep fighting to keep my rugby club going, and not do it for personal gratification or expect anything in return.
Will that save lives? probably not. Will it make governments change unfair policy, fuck no! But will I feel better than if i’m defaulting to self pity. Probably. Will I at somepoint slip from this holier than thou attitude? Hell yes? But as the great philosopher Alfred Says.
“why do we fall Master Bruce? so we can pick ourselves back up!”
So yes In spite of the shite that has tried to make monday suck, i’m going to keep plugging away at being a nice person. In spite of someone senselessly gunning down people, i’m going to be polite to those around me. Cause I don’t know what else to do.
Now to bring this back to topic, I’ve always been a pessimist, a cynic. But at the same time I’m a massive sap. I cry at Disney films, i see the good in people who have been awful to me. All this I got from Dad. And sometimes I lose my way. But he asked me to make him proud. I don’t have a way of knowing if I can ever accomplish this, but I think he’d be proud if I refuse to give up on this world. One day I want him to be a grandad, and to do that I need to believe this is a world to raise a child in.
And often an overlooked person in this story of mine, is my amazing mum. And when I first opened up to her about Dad dying I remember telling her how unfair it all felt; Her response “Russ life will always be unfair, don’t let it beat you. And remember this is the worst day of your life, if you want it to be life will be better.” As always she wasn’t wrong.
So on reflect. I had a shit day, that wasn’t really a shit day. Inspite of this I need to be positive and be happy. Cause, Bombs will still go off, people will still get sick, Governments will still be bastards, but I’m not letting the bastards get me down and that counts for something right?