Wow, its been ages hasn’t it.
So what’s new?
And more importantly why am I back.
Well a while ago I went on a journey a long journey. From one end to the country to the other. For Winston Wish. And I raised some money. More then I though possible. And for a while I felt complete and content.
Then time passes and we come to a moment in time. And in the past this is where we’d cut to a phone call and a moment that set me back down a path. This time its a tweet. And its from Winston’s Wish.
Its telling me its been 25 years since the charity began and they need someone to talk about it on the radio. Would I do it it? And without hesitation, i’m in. Later there’ll be nerves, worry, self doubt, panic. But in the moment, this amazing charity can get some help and I’m there.
And if you jump to 2 hours and 7 minutes of this clip you’ll see, or rather hear how i did:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p05dwdmb#play
And if it ended there, i’d have been happy and gone on with life quite contently. The charity got some love and awareness.
But it didn’t.
The next thing is, i’m being asked to go on Local tv and tell my story!
And of course, I’m going to do it. So as part of this I’m digging through old photos and reconnecting with parts of my past i’d long forgotten. And you know what its tough, raw wounds are scratched at again, but its ok, its part of the journey and in the sadness i find solice and happy memories like seeing the reason I love cycling so much:
and finding the last photo of me and dad: 
And i’m happy. I smile. Cause I’m in a place where I can look at that pic and it not make me fall to pieces. And again I remember just how much I owe the charity.
The story goes out on Sunday as it stands but here is a link to it:
And again that could be the end of it.
But it isn’t
Something niggles at me. Cause yet again the charity has given me something and as always I’ve never even had to ask for help they’ve just been there.
See i’m an overthinker, I dwell, I reflect I question. And there is always an unanswered question throughout my life:
“Would my dad be proud of me?”
And seeing the amazing comments people have said to me through all of this, I can answer, probably. And that’s enough.
I never set out to do this stuff for me or to have people blow smoke up my backside but that’s what I’ve got. I did it so that a charity that has given me so much, got some help and interest.
And it return its helped me even now, 25 years after I was a sobbing, blonde mess who couldn’t comprehend.
5 Years ago, they got me to get on a bike and really test myself for the first time in my life.
So now.
Its time to get back on the bike.
So next July, i’m back to being a middle aged man in lyrca and doing the Ride London for Them. It seems a long way off, but between now and then I want to do more, to find more challenges, to test myself, to give back.
So if you want to help me, the link to my donation page is:
https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/russell-brookes4
And i’ll do what I can to sufffer and earn the donations, any ideas for events i should do let me know. But they need to be one dayers really and if you suggest it, don’t be surprised if i try and rope you in!
So thats it for now.
toodles!
Getting on my bike 