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Just why am I doing this again?

March 23, 2012

There are time now when the training has been kicking my arse  and i’m not going to lie i have wondered if it iss worth it and if I can keep going. Its tough sometimes to roll out of bed, have a quick brew, devour some breakfast then get out on the bike to prepare for it. I love getting out on my bike, but in the past you have a choice, if you don’t feel like it you can stay in bed,watch tv or play on the play station. I know deep down I have to carry on and that I will get through it, but that doesn’t make it suck any less at times.

So it was with some embrassment that I watched John Bishop’s Sport relief hell. Now I could take from it the fact that at times, the bloke was in bits, chucking his guts up and huilicinating, not knowing if he had the strength to carry on. Or I could admire the guts and determination he showed to get up everyday, when he didn’t want to and just to keep going, somehow finding the ability to laugh at times and to smile. What he did is far worse than I have to endure, I won’t be on my own like he was for large parts. Like me, he found the training tough, but he kept in mind why he was doing it and focused on that to ensure he got through it.

That what I need to remember, that i’m doing this for Winston’s wish, that I want kids to have the support I had when I lost dad. No one should have to endure losing a parent alone, and if I can raise a bit of cash to help that happen than i’ll be chuffed to bit. I can put up with having to get on my bike and train when I’m tired and don’t want to if it all helps in the long run.

So tomorrow i’ll be getting up at 6 and peddling around when I’d prefer a few hours more in bed, cause I need to train, I need to focus, I need to do this. Then after that I’ll be off to Dorset with my lovely girlfriend and can relax!

The next few months are going to be amazing and if the pay off is I have to tough it out to get to enjoy all of that then so be it. I just wish my dad was here to see it through with me.

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