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A matter of perspective.

January 12, 2012

Wow this  has  certainly been a long week! Frustratingly, a long week in which i’ve yet to get out on my bike!

So unfortunately I didn’t get the job on Monday. Bit of a pain but thats life. The feedback was that whilst I came across well, they felt the successful candidate had more experience in a school enviroment, whereas my experience was more based in FE/HE. Nothing I can do about that, so I chalk it down to experience and move on. So the rest of the week has been set aside preparing for the interview I have today, because well its a tough one. Its only part time, but its a job I really like the look of and know I can do well at. So whys it tough you ask, cause its different to the jobs i’ve done before, so a lot of effort is needed on my part to show I can do it.

I think I’ve done that, I’ve had my head down for the last few weeks, reading up on it all and putting together the presentation. Now I just need to go there and show it. Before Interviews, I’m a bit of a tosser. I get so nervous and go over and over it all in my head, again and again. I then begin to doubt myself. I’m impatient at the best of times, but i’m currently sat here bouncing of the walls, waiting for it to be time to head off.  Once i’m there i’m always fine, I just focus on the task at hand and get on with it. Then afterwards, i’m always knackered due to all the nervous energy that comes before it.

Then it’s back home to switch off and try and relax. Its been a long week and one I’ll be glad to put behind me. On top of this i’ve been busy making some fundraising decisions and realising how much there is to do still, with time ticking away.

Now my New Year’s Resolution as I mentioned before was to be more positive, so why this post you ask? Well to be honest its a bit of a pep talk to myself. For you see, the above paragraphs are how negative Russ would have looked at it all. Here’s how i’m actually looking at it.

So I have an interview today and I’m eager, eager to get going and do it. Because I’m ready. I’ve thrown myself into the preparation and put so much into it that I know I can do this. If I don’t get the job so be it, but I know i’m going in there to give it my all. If I don’t get it, I have a pile of other jobs to apply for and I am waiting to hear from some. That job I am seeking is getting nearer.

Yes the fundraising is tough, but thats because we are working hard to put on some kick ass events, it was never going to be easy but I have some great mates helping me, supporting me, and forcing me to drive on and make a success and most of all I have Em, she had an interview of her own yesterday, she was nervous and stressed and now is waiting the outcome, but she hasn’t once moaned about it or made me worry today. She’s sat and listened to my presentation without complaint, gave me advice, tested me and helped me sort my suit out. I’m more ready than I have ever been for an interview because of her.

And the fundraising helps so much. Everytime I feel down or worried I see the amazing support people have given me. In one week the Shedweb Lions total has hit £105. My own personal total is £1,634.82. I’m truly blown away by the support. I have to keep focus, clock up the miles and hold up my end of the bargain. One day i’ll be riding into John O’Groats, knowing i’ve done this and it’ll all be worth it. I have to keep focused.

And what after? Well regardless, of the outcome, later i’ll go out on my bike, i’ll go out on my bike tomorrow. I’ll get to spend time with Em, i’ll carry on fundraising. Saturday, I get to play rugby, see my mates and laugh and take the piss.

If that’s not a reason to be positive I don’t know what is!

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